What does that look like?

What are some of the major phases or changes that a person goes through as they grow in their relationships with each other? Just like a caterpillar undergoes change, our relationships with people and groups of people change over time. Sometimes we try to 'pressure cook' relationships and end up ruining them (think about a guy or girl who pressures their significant other to 'move ahead' and get serious in a relationship after one or two dates). Other times it seems like everything clicks just right and you feel like you've belonged with a person or group of people all your life. How does that happen?

Maybe you've heard the story of the boy who was in a hurry to help a butterfly emerge from its cocoon. He ended up with a swollen, odd looking version of an insect that died very quickly after he had removed its cocoon. He found out later from his grandfather that the process of working its way out of the cocoon helps it move around its fluids and forces its wings and other body parts to become shaped into a butterfly. There is a process to life...even in our relationships!

Paul writes over and over in his letters to churches to watch how their relationships grow and to make sure that each person does what is best for others. In his writing all those instructions, it's implied that obviously they aren't doing all those things yet and they they need to grow toward that. Even though we're supposed to grow in our relationships with each other, it's possible to say in one place or even to regress or go backward.

As you reflect on your own experience and on what you've seen in others, what does it look like to grow in your relationships with people; especially your fellow disciples/church members? Yes, there are academic answers to that, but what have you actually seen personally in the people in your life? How many actually grow and move forward and what did it look like? Ever seen relationships go backwards or grow in unheathy ways? What does it look like for a relationship between people and/or groups to emerge as a butterfly?