Friday, October 10, 2008

Marriage and church

You may have heard the same message I heard on the radio recently, talking about the need for young people to know the difference between love and infatuation so that their future spouse and/or their marriage won't suffer the fate of so many in our country.
The message was really pretty simple (based on 1 Cor. 13 of course) and said that infatuation is a strong feeling that kind of carries its own cloudy fog that blinds people to the realities of the person they think they 'love' and thus the old saying, 'love is blind'.


The point being that love isn't blind, infatuation is. Love sees the person for all they are. The good and the not so good. And love says I accept you completely. Not 80% of you or just the parts that attract me to you, all of you.
Love gives and gives and when it runs out, it keeps on giving and doing the right thing by the object of its love. Its patient, not in a hurry to change someone. Its kind, remembering to keep on doing good things. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs, not bringing up the past or broken promises, etc.
So how about the church? The same idea applies. A lot of people are infatuated with parts of the church (my class, my Life Stage Group, my style of worship, etc) and when they 'join' in the relationship with that church, don't see the rest of it. What keeps it going, what got it there to start with, where its headed, etc.

And so when that church, or that congregation, continues on growing, adjusting, etc and the things they were infatuated with begin to shift or change or become overshadowed by other parts of that church, it's time for them to acuse the church of "You've changed! I don't know who you are anymore! (Kind of like that husband/wife thing) Go back to being who I thought you were or I am out of here!"

All that to say, that's why it is so important for people to remember that the local body of Christ is like a potential spouse in many ways - we can be so infatuated with parts of it that we're blinded to what we're called to or 'signing on to' when we join a church. It's not a loving commitment we're making in those instances, but a shallow exchange based contigencies - "I'll love you if..." - which in reality is not love at all.
It is amazing how we as a church can mirror the culture we live in. I.e. we shop churches like we shop stores - a religious economy in which we get the most for our money by picking who will benefit us the most and require the least from us. Or, as we've been looking at above, we 'date' churches and enter into a relationship with them contingent on they being what we want them to be or with the idea that we'll change them into what we want or "I'm outta here..."

So where does that leave us as believers committed to a local church (i.e. to Central, in our case)? It means we ought to interact with our local church on the basis of how the scripture calls us to, not according to how our culture pressures us to. It means we love each other as members in worship, in fellowship and in discipleship.

It means I am glad we've got a great worship service and so I praise God that I can praise and worship him in an uplifting environment and that I don't sit and sulk that it's not always the way I want it to be in terms of song choice, leaders, speakers, etc because if that's my point about 'church' then I've missed the point of 'church'.

It means that I am committed to the people in my class, Life Stage Group and/or small group and that I prioritize my time to be with them in life and to get to know them and to share burdens and resources so that no one is without what they need and so that no one has to bear a load beyond their capacity alone. I don't simply reserve my time for those whose relationship would benenfit me the most without me having to invest a lot of time.

And none of that is easy, but neither is love...until you get into the swing of it and then it becomes second nature and it's patient, kind, forgiving, etc.

So, which are you? Infatuated with or in love with the body of Christ?